How to Listen With a Potentialists Ear (And Catch Potential Before Your Brain Kills It)
The Field Guide to Spotting What Others Miss
Last week, I told you about my ongoing struggle with the word "Potentialist" and how people's brains react when they can't immediately categorize something. This week, let's flip the script:
Your brain has a body count. How many ideas did you kill this month without even noticing?
Listen, I've been watching smart people kill brilliant ideas for years now, and it's honestly heartbreaking. The best opportunities don't get rejected because they suck; they get murdered by perfectly lovely humans who never realize they're holding the knife.
If we want to build a better future, we need to listen for ideas with less 'What's in it for me?' and 'Do I get this?' and more 'Wait, what?' and 'Maybe this is exactly the different thinking we need.'
Potential is where all the good stuff lives. Don’t you want to bet on its future?
Ok, so let’s start deprogramming your killer tendencies.
The Four Kill Zones (Where You Accidentally Become an Idea Serial Killer)
Your brain has this adorable little security system that works exactly like airport TSA. Four checkpoints where someone else's genius gets flagged, detained, or straight-up confiscated. And just like actual TSA, your brain is absolutely convinced it's keeping you safe while mostly just making everyone miserable.
Kill Zone 1: The First Glance (Recognition Stage)
What your brain does: Lightning-fast filing system kicks in. Can't find a neat little folder for their idea? This is the moment your brain quietly strangles the idea in its crib.
What you're missing (and why you should care): The most valuable ideas are the weird ones that don't fit anywhere. When someone says, "It's like performance reviews meets organizational network management with a side of CRM but for internal teams," that's not word salad. That might be potential, trying to shake hands with you.
Potentialist Options:
When you hear an idea, identify 3 categories it might belong to and ask them which one it's closest to. Make it a game, not a filing exercise.
Instead of "I don't get it" (the kiss of death), try "What sparked this idea for you?" Their lightbulb moment might light yours up, too.
Drop this question: "Most original ideas come from two areas that never talk to each other. What were your two?" Then buckle up.
Kill Zone 2: The Gut Check (Emotional Stage)
What your brain does: The little voice of doom starts yakking. "But what if it fails? What if people think I'm an idiot? What if, what if, what if?" Fear doesn't reject the idea. It just leaves it bleeding out on the table while you nod politely.
What you're missing (and why it's costing you): That squirmy feeling? That's not your spidey-sense warning you about danger. That's your brain meeting something it's never seen before. The ideas that make you slightly uncomfortable are usually the ones worth paying attention to.
Potentialist Options:
Name your fear out loud: "I'm scared this won't work because..." Then ask them why you shouldn't be scared. Watch what happens.
If you can't explain their idea to someone else, tell them that. Then ask: "Why do you think my boss would get excited about this?"
When your brain screams, "too good to be true," translate that to "What would have to be true for this to work?" Way more fun than running away.
Kill Zone 3: The Spreadsheet Stage (Rationalization Stage)
What your brain does: Suddenly, you're an accountant. "Show me the numbers! Where's the proof! What's the ROI!" This is death by spreadsheet. The idea never even gets to crawl before you demand it run a marathon.
What you're missing (and why it's ridiculous): Listen, critics predicted the iPhone would bomb because who needs the internet on a phone? Investors told Airbnb's CEO they hoped he was working on something else because nobody would let strangers into their homes. The spreadsheet comes after you try the thing, not before. You're asking for data that literally doesn't exist yet.
Potentialist Options:
Instead of "How do we measure this?" ask "What would people start saying differently if this worked?" Way more interesting.
Hunt for the emotional payoffs: What gets easier? Faster? Less soul-crushing? These matter more than you think.
Replace "What's the ROI?" with "What problem does this solve that we all complain about but never measure?" Bingo.
Kill Zone 4: The Room You're Not In (Social-Proof Stage)
What your brain does: You start rehearsing how you'll explain this to your boss, your team, and the budget committee. Can't make it sound obvious and safe? You shoot the idea in the hallway before it ever reaches the room where it might matter.
What you're missing (and why it's tragic): You don't need to be a perfect translator. You just need to get the right people curious enough to hear it from the horse's mouth. Stop trying to be the middleman.
Potentialist Options:
Ask: "What's the one thing about this that would make Sarah stop scrolling her phone and actually listen?" Get specific about the person.
When you think "This sounds nuts," ask them for an analogy. Let them do the translation work.
Better yet, get out of their way. Put your reputation on the line and introduce the idea-author to people who can help them.
The Real Cost (And Why You Should Give a Damn)
The people who consistently catch breakthrough opportunities aren't smarter than you or blessed with magical intuition. They've just learned to notice when their brain is about to strangle something interesting in its sleep.
So here's a fun little thought experiment: Think about the last time someone pitched you something that made your brain feel like it was trying to solve a Rubik's cube blindfolded. Did you dismiss it because they "couldn't explain it clearly"? Did you pass because the ROI was fuzzy?
Now imagine that exact idea went to your biggest competitor instead.
How many of those conversations have you had this year? This month? This week?
Yeah. I thought so.
The next time someone brings you an idea that makes your brain feel chaotic, take a breath. That chaos in your brain isn't confusion. It's potential, fighting for its life. The only question is: will you kill it, or let it live long enough to grow?
And potential, my dear friends, is how the future says hello.
P.S. - If you're watching a great idea die a slow death in your organization right now, figure out which kill zone it's stuck in. Try the moves above and report back. I'm always collecting data on what works.
Here’s what intrigued me this week: Breaking patterns (it’s harder than you think), Brad Pitt, and a brutal truth. This week’s idea’s all start with the letter B.
Looks like I’m not the only one who is a tiny bit obsessed with how we can’t see what we can’t see. Mike Maples talks about it from his perspective creating the madlib.
We’ve all been pretending that ____________, but actually ___________.
Here’s mine: We’ve all been pretending that potential speaks for itself, when in reality it’s invisible until someone chooses to see it.
Totally worth the read and putting on my Potentialist lens, the refusal isn’t just about breaking business rules. It’s about how humans deal with potential itself. Here's where I agree with the thinking in this article.
- People confuse habit with reality, so they miss the actual potential hiding outside the frame. Once someone accepts the “invisible law,” they stop looking for what else might be possible.
- Shrugs are signals. The richest opportunities show up not where people complain, but where they’ve stopped noticing altogether. The shrug (“that’s just how it works”) is the exact moment where unseen potential is waiting for someone to reframe it.
Here’s the thing. You’ve got more ways than one to play in this space. Yes, as the one who dares to refuse the frame. But also as the one who spots another person doing it and chooses to amplify them, both create momentum.
Once you see it you can’t stop noticing it. This is what potential looks like. This clip captures the moment that potential can expand or die.
And no, it's not just Peter Brand's (Jonah Hill) formula for success.
It was also Billy Beane's (Brad Pitt) curiosity about the formula.
Beane could have dismissed Brand in an instant because Brand made it (on purpose, we learn) incredibly hard for him to hear his idea.
And Brand could have fallen back on his experience of "you're idea is wrong" and not followed Beane into the garage. He had the courage (again) to share his idea about the future of the thing he loved.
Breakthrough ideas are just that. They've never been done before. They often sound stupid. And they come from places you don't expect.
I wish I’d figured out this brutal truth a little sooner.
This question popped up on my feed this week. So I answered it.
My answer: You learned "pick me" energy didn't work when you were 12.
Just putting this here to remind myself. It’s harder to forget this than you think.
And before you go
Did you notice the invitation earlier in the newsletter?
Yes, I really am opening a few sessions to hear your ideas directly.
If you’ve been here a while, you know this isn’t my usual move. Which is exactly the point. I spend a lot of time telling you that potential only moves when you let people in. This is me drinking my own Kool-Aid, opening the door, practicing the practice.
So if you’ve been waiting for a moment to step in, this is it. And if you missed the invitation you can find out more here.